‘”At times I know they’re out there baiting me like the other night in Game 1 with those two quick fouls,” said Wallace, according to The Boston Globe. “I know that certain referees were trying to bait me to get a tech. You could see it coming from a mile away. Like I say, I don’t like to be cheated. I can deal with a loss. I can deal with playing bad. I can deal with getting my [butt] busted. I just don’t like to be cheated. Bottom line.”‘ [ESPN]

WILL HE GET OVER HIMSELF. All the refs care about is antagonizing him. If that’s true then ignore it like an adult. But it’s not; he’s slow and doesn’t attempt to play solid defense, so he commits cheap fouls. If he’s so perceptive to be 100% sure that the refs are out to get him, then why can’t he realize that comments like these ALWAYS result in fines and can only detract from the team’s success.

He should be a character in the upcoming “Arrested Development” movie – a lazy, self-absorbed, and wants to get paid for doing nothing.  Please just pull a Buster and go into a coma for the sake of the team.

He don’t like to be cheated, but apparently he’s OK with cheating the fans and ownership out of millions of dollars.  Bottom line: GO AWAY.

Chew before swallowing...

Clearly he’s angered by professional athletes’ unwillingness to cater to the limitations of his obese, “haven’t seen my penis in two years” body, which is the most embarrassing and pathetic element of this story.  Instead of criticizing the league’s two most successful teams for playing sound baseball (maybe their success has something to do with their pace, huh, Joe?),  he should petition for his own hot dog vendor and the right to sit on a stool during games, or maybe just call them remotely from a Denny’s.  Perhaps he wants to speed up the games so that players will have more time to eat, so they hopefully gain weight and he won’t feel as bad about himself.   I love that he was quoted in the Bergen Record – big time.  I wonder what percentage of the interview was done with food in his mouth?  You’re paid to call balls and strikes for the most competitive baseball games in the world – shut up.

story?id=5066650

Can you blame him? The guy’s nearly 58 and travels all over the country to manage a mediocre baseball team for at least 162 games.   You sit and/or half-stand in the dugout for hours, must be alert and analytical at all times, and then be ready for a media interrogation.  I think that’s the rough plot of Saw VII.

Think all of the diversions fans have that managers don’t: the wave, beach balls, beer, waiting in lines, signing up for credit cards,  and watching girls eat soft-serve ice cream.

I think this guy is screwed this season.  His assistant managers will be carrying him Weekend at Bernie’s style onto the field to argue calls.

Gucci Mane – Lemonade

Cypress Hill feat. Marc Anthony & Pit Bull – Armada Latina

For the past month, as Toyota has been focusing on recalling millions of defective cars and answering to U.S. lawmakers, Volkswagen’s U.S. division has been aggressively attempting to regain market share amongst what the auto industry defines as the “hot girl” target demographic.  This coveted niche — legally defined as attractive females ages 18 to 30 (The closed-door demo. is understood to be 16 to 30) — has proven to generate unparalleled brand awareness amongst the general public and influence purchases made by what society defines as lesser females.

Since 2002, Toyota’s Prius has been an increasingly popular choice with the “hot girl” demographic – despite Volkswagen’s constant efforts to thwart the shift.  Prior to the hybrid’s launch, VW, specifically its Jetta model, seemingly monopolized this coveted niche for almost a decade (During this time, Ford’s Mustang V6 was considered second by default. It has never been able to build popularity beyond exotic dancers and high school cheerleaders destined for pre-graduation motherhood and, eventually, exotic dancing.).

“It was very difficult for us to definitively pinpoint why the Jetta became their [hot girls] vehicle of choice, but there’s a general theory.  At the time, American and Japanese cars were about as appropriate for hot girls as one piece bathing suits and eating – they didn’t fit into the lifestyle, which really left German brands as options.  But price point was, and still is, a factor for these females ranging from first-time drivers, supported by their affluent parents, to post-college graduates that haven’t married into money yet – and are also often still supported by their parents.  The Jetta’s German pedigree and price point created an appealing option for the spectrum,” said Tim Ellis, VP Marketing, Volkswagen America

Volkswagen attributes its declining market share to Hollywood’s obsession with exuding the eco-friendly lifestyle.  “The combination of Al Gore’s documentary and the public criticizing celebrity excess, such as private jets and limos, quickly turned it [the Prius] into a Hollywood staple,” says Ellis.  “Leo’s [DiCaprio] seen arriving at awards shows in one, and by mid-2002 we noticed more and more pictures of celebs with Priuses in the gossip magazines.  There’s no denying the influence; and with its comparable price point [to the Jetta], it’s been tough to combat.  It’s the trickle-down effect: celebrities influence the hot girls, and the hot girls influence all the females down below.  Well, the straight ones.”

But VW sees Toyota’s current safety crisis as the opportunity it needs to reclaim lost customers.  Its advertising agency has been working non-stop to churn out new messaging for the initiative.  From what Ellis divulged about the campaign, the core goal appears to be playing on hot girls’ worst fear: losing their hotness.  “The overarching message is that driving a Prius puts their distinguishing asset [hotness] at greater risk.  Why drive a car that has a statistically proven higher chance of causing an accident resulting in your disfigurement and the subsequent need to reevaluate your self-worth?”

Similar campaigns have been criticized for fear-mongering and unnecessary brand disparagement.  “Sure, the messaging is a bit classless, but I don’t see an alternative. VW needs to effectively capitalize on Toyota’s mistakes.  The ‘hot girl’ demo feeds on shock value and drama,” said Joan Flynn, an automotive marketing consultant previously based in Detroit, but currently unsure of what to do with her life.

While VW dealers wait for peripherals from the national ad agency, eager dealerships have been executing unofficial grassroots marketing initiatives communicating the corporate messaging.  Mark Franchez, a dealership owner in Westchester County, NY, has been making every effort to spread the message.  “We have sales reps distributing custom fliers to hot female Prius owners at gas stations, traffic lights, parking garages, coffee shops, gyms, medical parks – everywhere.  Despite the sales staff’s differing taste in women, I think we’re targeting well,” said Franchez.  Flier slogans include “Don’t become damaged goods,” “Faulty breaks are for ugly people,” and “Toyota doesn’t care about hot girls.”  His salesman have also been trained to use Barbie and Ken dolls for interactively demonstrating the potential long-term social ramifications caused by driving a defective Prius.

In response to these rogue marketing initiatives Ellis said, “Although we don’t condone them and prefer more tact, we do appreciate the dedication these efforts express.  This die-hard attitude should make executing our official plans immensely successful.”

50 Cent’s latest single officially confirms that he doesn’t think Michael Jackson went far enough with the whole underage love thing.  Or it confirms the need for our society to refrain from referring to anyone over three years old as “baby.”  Or that I enjoy being incredibly literal for the sake of cynicism.

BEAVERTON, OR- In response to President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last Friday, Nike has changed its iconic “Just Do It.” tagline to “Just Say It.”

“Our brand’s messaging must ring true to the times,” said Mark Parker, Nike’s president and chief executive.  “‘Saying it’ has become more important than ‘doing it.’  We aren’t above adapting to shifts in societal values and benchmarks of success [involving Obama].”  Parker also did not rule out product changes, such as redesigning footwear to maximize comfort while standing in place and sitting down.

Launched in 1988, “Just Do It.” became internationally synonymous with the brand’s results-oriented lifestyle, and, as a result, one of the most celebrated taglines of the 20^th Century.

“It took one man and less than nine months to make a universal phrase, let alone a legendary brand’s identity, seem antiquated,” said John Vine, a Boston-based brand consultant.  “This is a testament to Obama’s legacy.  I guarantee this move has countless brands reevaluating their marketing strategies.  Nothing is above the influence.”

These parameters led me to combine two of society’s most beloved past times: judging strangers and March Madness brackets. In the spirit of McCarthyism, I used second-hand knowledge and speculation to identify 32 public figures as walking STD banks.

Like our nation’s financial services companies infesting the stock market with mortgage-backed securities, these individuals are using their status to flood the sexual marketplace with their dirty assets that go viral faster than a video of a seven year-old on analgesic drugs trying to ride a puggle (Puts “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” into a new perspective). Let’s crown the dirtiest of the dirty!

http://www.bracketeers.com/view-bracket.php?id=288